Monday, October 3, 2016
Update from Creep-ville
I never moved into the RV with the hope or expectation of “finding love”. I really thought I would only be in it for 2 years while going to grad school. I have written often about the characters I meet in the RV park. Sometimes they honestly creep me out.
Last summer one of my neighbors was raking my yard. He was moving the plants and getting up under the RV which both felt too close and personal. I appreciated it, but it felt creepy. He never asked, or offered, he just did it. I find raking leaves therapeutic. This is the same guy who was leaving the blinds open between our trailers. He set up a front porch and was setting up a “back porch” complete with plants, hummingbird feeder and a chair, facing my trailer directly. I was uncomfortable with this and finally mustered up the nerve to say, “Hey, what’s going on?” I let him know I felt real uncomfortable with the situation and let him know I can rake my own leaves. He stopped, for a while.
In the last couple of months another neighbor has crossed more than one boundary. This guy has got kids my age! I don't mean to be ageist, but that's just too old. I'm okay being with someone who has kids, I prefer they be significantly younger than me. This guy went out and bought a motorcycle helmet, so I can ride his motorcycle with him. (If you can’t see, my eyebrows are all furrowed.) We had a couple of conversations, but he never asked if I wanted to ride and certainly never asked if I wanted to ride with him. I recently had to replace my bicycle helmet, so I know there’s some financial commitment in helmets. A motorcycle helmet’s got to be a lot more expensive than a bicycle helmet. I am very picky about who I’m going to ride on the motorcycle with.
It feels creepy that this neighbor bought a motorcycle helmet for me. He didn’t ask. It was too small anyway. Lately he has been driving by and stopping on the weekends. Most recently I didn’t answer the door because I was taking a nap after a long weekend. He came back around a second time and I didn’t answer the door. He doesn’t call. He doesn’t text. If you want to know how I’m doing I’ll tell you, just ask. I’m prone to give you an honest answer.
Today, I found myself asking, “Does this happen in the ‘real world’?” Do those of you who are single have people that creep on you like this? It has me rethinking my whole approach to dating, maybe I’ve been the one that was creepy.
Years ago some of my neighbors used the phrase, “Don’t (crap) where you sleep.” It holds true. We live too close to each other and if things don’t work out it’s just too close for comfort. I don’t go for guys who live in the same park as me. I can hang out and visit. I will ask for help, when I need it, but I am generally not a damsel in distress.
Boundaries, they are different in the RV park. We live in small spaces. We know more about each other than we care to know. We can be a tight knit community. My neighbors keep tabs on when I come home and when I leave. I’ve had more than one talk about the long hours I keep, so I know they notice.