Transitions

Daniel Levinson's Theory on Transitions talks about the stress one experiences when they change roles.  For instance every time a woman transitions from professional woman to playful person there is stress.  Each of us change roles several times a day and each time there is stress associated with that transition.  The stress may not be disabling and we may not take note of it.

The beginning of this semester I quit my job with the state so I could focus on my Internship and finish school.  I had worked with this agency for 7 years.  During the Winter Break I was scrambling to find an internship site (or two or three) where I could work as a Counseling Student Intern and gain experience in the field.  I found two sites, each drastically different from the other.  At one location I work with people in transitional housing who have a significant mental illness and may or may not have a history of substance abuse.  The other location I work as a Career Counselor reviewing resumes and exploring career options.  The two are very different sites and each has their value. 

In the last week I realized I am having to redefine "internship."  I had previously considered it a launching pad where I could work closer to the clients with less supervision, as I thought I was capable of doing at this point in the program.  I find that I am having to take a big step back and take more of a learning position.  I am learning that my role at one of these Internship Sites is to unlock doors, adjust the room temperatures, xerox homework, listen and shadow the supervisor.  I do not have the opportunity to meet individually with these clients.  I often find myself trying to read the supervisor's mind and am not getting clear messages.  Often I find it best to take the role of the "Silent Observer" and learn from watching her.  When I am not in the role of the Silent Observer it is more like two people on the dance floor and both are trying to lead.

Last week on my way to Internship I read a quote, "For my own peace of mind, I must resign from the position as Master of the Universe."  I will have to do a bit of research and find who made the quote.  It has helped me define my role at this Internship Site.  There are things I cannot do right and will never get right and I have to let those experiences go, yet there is a lot for me to learn.  I am constantly trying to remind myself that I am a student and as a result I am not expected to know everything and do everything perfectly.  As a student it means that I may have to do what I think of as petty tasks.  I cannot carve out the perfect Internship experience and must use these teachable moments.

One of my supervisors uses a phrase I love, "You are earning your stories."  They don't just happen, but you earn them.  Sometimes I am overwhelmed and want to run away, but I have not been given more than I can handle.  There are many stories for me to gleam out of this experience. 

Each semester when my schedule changes I struggle with finding time for strenuous physical activity to deal with the stress of these transitions Levinson talks about.  One year I had the perfect schedule to train for the 3M Half Marathon.  This semester there are several things that seem to have gotten in the way of me running and bicycling.  A month in to the semester and I think I am finding that routine.